I've now been unemployed for over seventeen weeks, so it's time to set down some of the lessons I think I should pass on to employers and others.
Employers
1. Always arrange interviews on Friday; there's nothing candidates enjoy more than being grilled at the end of the week and then left to suffer over a weekend.
2. Do lose application forms. You think I'm joking, don't you? No. If online applications aren't on offer, I either hand-deliver my applications or send them by Royal Mail's next day delivery service. It was only when I wasn't short-listed for a post whose person specification I was sure I met that I queried it to discover that they had received my application, but had then lost it.
3. If you offer feedback on interview performance, be sure that whoever is the point of contact for the candidate takes at least a week's leave straight after the interview. When giving feedback, make it as anodyne and meaningless as possible.
Employment agencies
1. Candidates will not feel at their ease if you dress professionally when they call at your office; make sure your staff dress as casually as they can. It will make the candidate feel smarter.
Conference and CPD event organisers
1. There is no need to offer a concessionary rate for unemployed delegates. After all, they are nobodies with no purchasing influence to interest your fat-cat sponsors. If out of misplaced charity you do feel compelled to offer such a rate, be sure not to advertise it. Job seekers can demonstrate their searching prowess by finding it in the recesses of your badly-designed and badly-indexed electronic and print publicity materials.
